Have you ever felt like the confident, fierce woman you once were is hiding, just waiting to reemerge? It’s a strange feeling, like the girl who once owned every room, crushed every challenge, and embraced life with full force is just beneath the surface, waiting for permission to come back. For me, personally, I remember being that girl in high school—cool, collected, and full of confidence. Granted, she had far less stress and fewer responsibilities, but her secret was simple: operating through fear and into self-trust.
Confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s built, day by day, through action. The biggest lesson I learned in my own journey back to confidence is this: confidence is about repeated practice at the things that scare you. It’s about learning to trust yourself, again and again.
Remember when we were younger, performing our cultural dances in front of an entire school or community? We didn’t overthink it or agonize about what people might say—we just did it. And sure, we’d get nervous before a big class presentation or competition, but somehow we pushed through. The next time, it got a little easier. We’d try out for teams, join clubs, talk to new people—fear of failure was always present, but we kept going. And when we fell short, we’d dust ourselves off and try again.
But something changes as we grow into adulthood, especially for women of color. As adults, we often lose that innate trust in ourselves. Our confidence becomes chipped away by societal expectations, workplace dynamics, and the heavy burden of being constantly overlooked or undervalued. We work harder to prove ourselves, but over time, we begin to abandon the instincts and qualities that once made us shine. Our voices get quieter, our ambitions tempered.
It’s not our fault, but it is within our power to reconnect with that fierce confidence. To bring her back. Here’s how.
Why Confidence is Linked to Self-Trust
Confidence and self-trust go hand in hand. At its core, confidence is trusting that you can navigate whatever comes your way. Without self-trust, confidence feels shaky—it’s like standing on uneven ground. This is especially true for women of color, who often face unique challenges in their personal and professional lives.
When you’re constantly navigating microaggressions, biases, or expectations to fit into spaces not designed for you, it’s easy for self-doubt to creep in. Studies show that women of color are disproportionately affected by imposter syndrome, with up to 70% of people experiencing it at some point in their lives. For high achievers, this pressure is magnified—you’re balancing your ambitions with the need to survive and be seen in environments that don’t always support you. Over time, the toll of “fitting in” causes us to question our abilities and instincts.
The good news? Rebuilding self-trust is possible. It’s about reconnecting with yourself, making small, deliberate choices that affirm your worth, and consistently showing up for yourself. Confidence grows with each promise you keep to yourself. Let’s explore how.
3 Practical Steps to Rebuild Confidence
1. Affirmations: Rewire Your Inner Dialogue
Affirmations are a powerful way to shift your mindset and boost self-confidence. Repeating positive, self-affirming statements can help rewire negative thought patterns and reinforce self-trust. Think of affirmations as mental reps at the gym. The more you practice them, the stronger your belief in yourself becomes.
Examples of affirmations to start with:
- “I trust myself to make the right decisions.”
- “I am worthy of success and happiness.”
- “I have the power to change my life.”
Even if these statements feel foreign or uncomfortable at first, over time, you’ll start to internalize them. According to research in neuroscience, repeatedly affirming positive thoughts can reshape the brain—literally rewiring neural pathways to focus on self-belief rather than doubt. Start small, say them in front of the mirror, or write them down. Watch how your confidence begins to shift.
2. Journaling: Your Personal Confidence Tracker
Journaling is one of the most powerful tools to reconnect with your inner voice and build self-trust. By putting your thoughts on paper, you create space to process emotions, track your growth, and reflect on past successes. When confidence wavers, your journal can serve as a reminder of how far you’ve come and what you’ve already achieved.
Try these prompts:
- When was the last time I did something that scared me, and how did I feel afterward?
- What are three things I’m proud of from the past month?
- What’s one fear I want to tackle in the next 30 days, and what small steps can I take toward it?
Science backs the benefits of journaling. Studies show that journaling can reduce stress, boost mood, and even improve immune function. More importantly, it’s a direct link to your thoughts and feelings, a way to document your confidence journey.
3. Setting Boundaries: A Confidence Superpower
One of the quickest ways to lose self-trust is by consistently allowing others to cross your boundaries. Whether it’s in personal relationships or at work, failing to set and maintain boundaries leads to burnout and resentment. But here’s the thing: boundaries are a form of self-respect. They send a message to yourself (and others) that your time, energy, and well-being are important.
For example, if you often feel overwhelmed at work, practice setting boundaries around your availability. You might say, “I’m not able to take on extra tasks this week,” or, “I need uninterrupted time from 2-4 p.m. to focus on my priorities.”
By practicing small acts of boundary-setting, you begin to trust your ability to protect your peace. Each time you honor a boundary, you reinforce self-trust and confidence.
How Coaching Can Accelerate This Journey
Rebuilding confidence and self-trust is deeply personal, but it doesn’t have to be done alone. Working with a coach can accelerate this journey by providing you with the tools, support, and accountability needed to truly thrive.
In my 1-1 Coaching Programs, we dive into the core of what’s holding you back, helping you peel back layers of doubt and reconnect with the fierce, confident woman you are at your core. Coaching provides a structured, supportive space where you can set meaningful goals, track your progress, and gain clarity on the path forward. Through powerful questions and exercises, we work together to rediscover your strengths and build a foundation of unwavering self-trust.Coaching is a powerful tool to rediscover, reclaim, and reconnect with yourself. As we work together, you’ll be equipped with not only the confidence to make bold decisions but also the self-trust to stand firmly in those choices.
Take the First Step Toward Rediscovering Your Confidence
If you’ve felt disconnected from your confidence, now is the time to take that first step. The journey back to self-trust begins with small, deliberate actions—and I’m here to support you every step of the way.
Ready to start? Book a clarity call with me today, and let’s explore how we can rebuild your confidence together. Plus, stay tuned for upcoming group coaching sessions designed specifically for women ready to reconnect with their strongest selves.
Sources & Further Reading:
- The Impact of Self-Confidence on Success: Link to APA article on self-confidence and career success
- The Power of Affirmations: Link to Psychology Today article on affirmations
- Journaling for Mental Health: Link to Positive Psychology article on journaling benefits
- The Science of Boundaries: Link to NCBI research on boundary setting and emotional health
